TV Crack!

I confess. I just can’t get enough of this show! Gauging the buzz on the internet and fan-crazed chat-rooms I’m not the only one. From the fake cheesy blood-spray to all the hunky testosterone ripped men in loincloths: Spartacus is entertainment supreme.

The series follows the legend of Spartacus. A Thracian captured and made into a Roman slave who lead a revolt that shook the Roman empire. His escape from bondage as a Gladiator freed over 70 slaves. And his conquests didn’t end there, in fact for two years he waged an ingenious war against Roman armies and commanded his army of nearly 10,000 escaped slaves. I remember as in my teens watching Kirk Douglas portrayal of Spartacus. A very watered-downed version compared to the new show. Even still I was riveted by Spartacus rise and fall in the face of overwhelming odds. Those stories get to me the most I suppose. That being said no television depiction of Spartacus I’ve seen to date has been so expertly explained or exaggerated as the fictional depiction of the STARZZ show ‘Spartacus: Blood and Sand’.

Now, every Friday night we get a story with tons of gory to keep us on the edge of our seats. And as the show nears the season finale I dread the pending ending.

Here’s why:

The Underdog and his Ladylove

The love story of Spartacus and his wife who was believed to be a Thracian sorceress Sura is as tortuously angst ridden as Romeo and Juliet. The season opens with Spartacus journey into aiding the Roman’s battle a foe that has reeked havoc among his people. But he soon flees the battleground to fight alongside his warrior woman and save her murder or worse. I will say that their love story, sex scenes, kissey face moments were initially forced down our throats.

At first I suffered spasms of repeated eye-rolls to the way Spartacus bitched and whined for his woman and his fate in bondage. Not that being sold into slavery is a cake walk, but I longed for signs of the strategic warrior he was destined to become. The writers of the show to a brick layers approach in building his character and his motivations. After 12 episodes we the viewers finally got our reward. The Champion of Capua (as they call him) is truly fleshed out. When he weeps for his woman or slain best-friend, I do, when he bleeds on the sands of the arena or takes a life, I cringe. And the sexy in his battle scenes make my heart flutter. Now I’m completely hooked on the vengeance. Thirsting for the slave uprising that the show better deliver on. Though Spartacus and Sura have spent most of the season apart, their love-story has propelled the unlikely hero into my heart.

The Gladiator and His Slave Girl.

Oh, Crixius! Be still my heart! From the moment these two shared a scene the raw chemistry between them was combustible. Crixius has his place in the Spartacus legends, but his story was not as a follower to me. It was more of his equal. From what I remember he and Spartacus fought side by side and when several battles were won, Crixus took his men and left Spartacus because he wanted to do more pillaging than travelling to the Alps for freedom. All of what I’ve read and seen of Crixus there was never any true explanation of who he was before his Gladiator days, where he came from, or what motivated him. With the addition of his true-love Naevea and the tortured existence he had because he suffered that love from the cage he was regulated too. Their story has become as powerful if not even more meaningful to me than Spartacus and his slain wife Sura. I’ll go on record now that by far if there is any happy ever after it should be for Crixus and Naevea.

Unfortunately though the directors of the show are really careful to make sure that these lovers don’t outshine their chosen stars. I fear what little we fans get for this pairing will be in spoon fed doses. Even still watching them strokes the writer in me. Team CrixNae all the way!

The Serpent and his Slug.

Talk about villains you love to hate! The Dominus and Domina of the Ludus are amoral social climbers that have pretty much walked in blood to see their greed satisfied. And though in most stories the villains your thirst for their comeuppance is agonizing I don’t crave it as much as my loathing says I should. Without the conniving manipulations of these two I’m sure the story would have leaned more on the implausible. Spartacus rise and fall after enslavement is all thanks to the master manipulator who reunited him with his precious Sura only to have her die in his arms. Who stood by and watched as he was forced to kill his best friend. The slave revolt that will bring down the House of Batiatus will be so much better after having witnessed:

*Batiatus order the killing of a child with not a inch of remorse.
*Baitatus ordering the killing of his most trustful slave Barca.
*Batiatus murdering the Magistrate and then placing the blame on his nemsis (and getting away with it)

His offenses go on…

So does my raging hate for his slug known as Lucretia.

I also can’t wait to see justice delivered for her offenses heaped upon the slave girl she’s had since she was a child (Naevea). But in measure to her crimes. Lucretia should suffer the loss of status and all she holds dear before a sword carves her conniving heart from her chest. So yes bring on the fall of the Ludus and it’s rulers, but don’t you dare give me a hurried version of it. After longing for this season finalie I think that’s a reasonable plea!

There are others of course. A man known as Ashur who I hope by the season finalie is ripped apart by Crixus sword. And then maybe next year in season 2, Ilythia and her husband the Legatus Glaber both will be crushed under Spartacus boot heel. And if none of my wishes are granted except for the angst, blood, sweat, tears and gore, I will still be the first on couch pumping my fist, riveted by the show I can’t get enough of!!

Sexy TV? – Not really…

That’s right ladies the naughty has leapt from the pages to cable TV. Zane Sex Chronicles, is a multicultural mix of hot steamy dalliances and relationship drama’s written by the queen of urban smut herself Zane. And now back by popular demand (I suppose) the show has moved into it’s second season. Sex Chronicles follow the lives of four strongly independent and sexually empowered women, centered around the character known as Patience who secretly is the erotic author “Zane”. Have you seen it? I just concluded Season 1 and half of Season 2. Where the stories about Patience and her friends lend to be slightly interesting, the dialogue and exaggerated relationship arcs with sprinkles of soft porn get tiring and dare I say boring?

I will admit to not being a fan of the written works. Trust me I’m no prude. Even I can admit that many scenes left my glassed fogged and pulse racing. But my attention span is short. Since Sex Chronicles isn’t supposed to be just about the naughty, but a dramatic series I expected a little more than the yawn I got after ten minutes. The whole ‘for us by us’ mantra played in my head when I first watched. To Zane’s credit, we haven’t had true representation on this front. Urban or not I thought it deserved my support. Plus, I couldn’t wait to see black women embrace their sexuality, be desired, fiesty, catty, sensual and yes so-so-so naughty. the kick off of Season 1 led me to believe that Zane felt the same way. Her characters had growing potential:

Patience ‘Zane’ James – a corporate marketing diva with a pension for writing a steamy advice column and erotic series is secretly known as the author Zane. An author that her friends raved about. These girlfriends actually threw ‘Zane’ book parties to discuss sex, relationships, and the author’s latest works. Interesting. Patience search for love outside of her mother-hen ways with her girlfriends puts her with a hunky successful black man named Hunter. Hunter is played by Buddha from ‘I love New York’ reality show (a stain I can’t seem to wash off him to enjoy his character in every scene). Season 1 was the blossoming romance between the two a as she juggled her secret life with the woman he knows. (Oh and get this he’s a Zane fan too, reads all her books). Toward the end of the season you see her start to trust and let her new lover in. And we get a proposal. Though the acting was subpar (the budget must be limited) and the love connection with Hunter and Patience rushed, I saw potential. Now after six episodes into Season 2, I could care less about the couple. There’s just nothing new or intriguing about the pairing. And the conflict with her dragging her feet on the wedding date is definitely a ploy to throw in unneeded angst. We never see Hunter outside of the bedroom. We never hear more about why and how Zane became the author she is. Mostly their scenes are just filler between the sexy tales that she narrates from her laptop. And after seeing one episode of this you kind of can predict the rest.

Now throw into the mix her girlfriends. One married to a doctor who struggled with their stale sex life. She flirts with a colleague and then gets stalked for her goodies in every episode in Season 2. Every time the two of them share scenes its annoying. Then you have a friend who is a divorcee who was dating a crackhead and now is considering taking her cheating husband back. Sounds interesting? Not really. There is a huge gap between both seasons to explain the actions of the characters or why we should care about her recovery. And lastly is the sex-addicted, ex-call girl, dating a rapper thug, who got caught screwing around another man in their bed. I throw my hands up on this chic and every scene. In fact I think she’s the most distracting. I guess thats me calling *bullshit* on this sex-addiction thing. Cough! Moving on.,

The Series works for a late-night peek at naughty. I don’t expect the series or the stories to improve. Accepting that as ‘fact’ makes it the kind of entertainment you can seek on a boring Friday night. But for Skin-a-Max Zane’s imaginative ways to explore some of the base desires between a man and a woman — told from a black woman’s perspective — it seems to work.

I can’t take it! There I said it. I can’t take Spring. I know I’ve been miserable with the frigid southern winters as of late. I know I’ve complained about the cloudy skies and icy rains. I’ve suffered through three snow-blasts that ridiculously paralyzed my city. Every day checking for the damn sunshine to return. But that was before alien’s took over my immune system and made me deathly allergic to spring!

I’ve lived in Georgia for over fifteen years. When did this happen? Is it age? I’m not sure. But a night out with friends Saturday has left me crippled with clogged sinuses, red, itchy, watery eyes and excruciating headaches.It’s too much! Argh!

I’m taking Clariton, thinking of moving on to Zyrtec but I wish I knew a natural remedy? Do you?